“When you don’t make choices for yourself, others make choices for you.” Probably, these reasons compel a person to initiate making choices, if not made can turn someone into a cog in the institutionalized machines. However, as much as choices give freedom, they invite danger too.
‘Hooks’ from a semiotic perspective, signify a kind of conjunction that binds two things in tandem. Nevertheless, it’s not strong enough to keep them together. It’s a weak association that is inherently fragile and deeply entrenched in an elusive structure just like social media; a thread that connects the personas constructed by the humans sitting behind the screen.
“Hook-up culture, however, is not an expression of love or affection- it is rather a search for self-worth.”
Mary Perez
The recent emergence of dating apps like Tinder and social media platforms like Instagram, and Facebook gives a sense of choice and opportunities to interact with a diverse range of individuals creating an illusion of liberation but if we go beyond the layers, it deeply enslaves us. The virtual platform has enabled people to create a persona of theirs which is often based on manipulation and deception. Behind the veil, things are different. Behind the facade is a flawed human with imperfections whose sensibilities are dissociated because of dysfunctional cognition. There is a high probability of projecting themselves as someone they are not. Maybe, that’s what persona is all about; to represent an image of oneself that has a high market value.
Hook and unhook can be considered metaphors for such a casual dating process these days. Just like the fisherman who uses hooks to catch fish, the dating market is flooded with subtle and imperceptible hooks of sex appeal, financial status and social value. In older days, people used to be accountable to each other, they had a sense of humanity, but technology has dehumanized them by distancing them from their humanity. People can talk all day and ghost you the next day. People can have a great time together and they won’t ever like to see each other again. They might show immense interest yet may lose it in seconds if the other party shows reciprocation. This is what makes this hook-up culture so dangerous. As it brings with it emotional trauma and psychic instability.
Peeping into the inner world of a human is too dangerous a task and these platforms with the marathon of choices destabilize the psyche and create a path toward insanity.
People don’t want to talk about it because of the way these discourses are normalized. That’s why old cultures and traditions carry something sacred about them. They were based on ethics, commitment and deliberate choices. On the contrary, hookup culture is based on gratification, impulsive behaviour and pleasure principles. People in such situations are not ready to take accountability, making the situation lethal for the vulnerable class. Unpredictability is a thrill, and uncertainty is interesting and can keep people hooked but what about trust which rests on the pillars of predictability and certainty? Would you bet thrill over trust and safety? Wouldn’t it be a better way to navigate through life if people start speaking the truth? No matter how painful or harsh the truth might sound, the cure that comes with it is unparalleled. In the absence of social media platforms, people didn’t have many choices or ways to explore the world. Their choices were limited, however, today we all have unlimited options and choices. But the thing that the world has forgotten is that ‘with choices comes responsibility too.’ And the problem arises when people can’t make sense of such privileges and take responsibility. Instead of making use of such opportunities to grow or expand their consciousness, they project their uncontrolled dark shadows upon others creating a hub of insanity. And when people don’t know how to control their shadows by channelizing properly, they create a network of madness and when madness gets normalized, questioning the structure becomes a rebellious task. That’s why speaking the truth or in simple words, speaking one’s truth becomes a crucial task. Speaking the truth will protect not only you but another party too from adverse psychological impacts.
The counter-narrative people come up with to support the hook-up culture is, “How can we make an emotional blunder to commit to someone without knowing them”? Isn’t it an opportunity to explore what we want and need for the long term? If things didn’t work, we can end without any strings attached? These are genuine concerns on the part of the questioner but concerns without the right intentions can never create a safe environment for those who are truly interested in knowing people instead of seeing them as a fad. In such cases, ain’t counter-narratives foregrounding the selfishness on the part of the people who approach human relations through the lens of indifference? Doesn’t it devalue the sanctity of human emotions and feelings? And what about the emotional damage? Who is going to talk about that? Or who is going to take accountability for that?
