Book Review: A Memoir of Friendship, Love and Loss
Prof. Waseem Bari’s book “The man who Still walks Beside Me”, dedicated to his late friend Dr. Zamir Ahmad Bhat, revisits the warmth of university friendships, the intellectual vibrancy of Aligarh and the enduring presence of those we lose.
Saadat Khaki
The book titled, “The man who still walks beside me” written by Prof. Waseem Bari, Director South Campus, University of Kashmir was released on 9th October 2026 at South Campus Auditorium in memory of his friend Dr. Zamir Ahmad Bhat from Village Hutmurah, District Anantnag, teacher by profession with trail of mourners as he was multifaceted personality as philosopher, poet, intellectual and complete family man. The book release event named, “Celebrating Zamir” was attended by people from different walks of life mainly Civil Society, Department of Education and his friends and contemporaries from Aligarh Muslim University where Dr. Zamir had studied.
The book, available on Amazon and published by BlueRose Publishers, New Delhi, is a memoir of friendship, love, and, ultimately loss. The author has beautifully described the meaning of friendship, portraying it as a great blessing in life and the loss of such a bond as one of life’s greatest tragedies. The book is divided into seventeen small chapters, followed by Last Scene, and begins with the Dedication. The dedication is an emotionally woven piece in which the author addresses the three young daughters of his deceased friend, Madiha, Maliha, and Inaya.
He addresses them through the prism of their father’s wishes, reflecting on how he wanted them to grow into women of dignity, compassion, wisdom, and unwavering faith, with a commitment to serving humanity. While addressing the daughters of his deceased friend, the author clearly mentions that the memoir is primarily a story of friendship. He presents it as an opportunity for them to see their father through this particular window and discover the days of his youth, his university life, and his experiences in the hostel. Through this memoir, the author seeks to introduce them to a side of their father that they may not have known, allowing them to understand the person he was beyond his roles and responsibilities in later life.
Every human being is multifaceted and acts according to different relationships and responsibilities. One has to be obedient to one’s parents, responsible towards one’s family, dedicated to one’s profession, and, at the same time, can be more casual and open with friends. The author has presented his friend through the prism of friendship, offering the audience a glimpse of the person he knew and experienced in that relationship. The story begins in the hostel corridors and at the roadside dhabas of Aligarh Muslim University, where the author beautifully recounts his first encounter with his friend, Zamir. Their introduction began with a dispute over hostel accommodation, which was settled within a day. Thereafter, they would occasionally exchange nods and greetings while crossing paths, as both lived in the same hostel on the university campus. Little did they know that these brief exchanges of gestures and greetings would eventually blossom into a lifelong friendship.
The author presents Zamir as a highly knowledgeable personality who, despite being an Arts student, possessed an extraordinary command over a wide range of subjects, including theology, poetry, international relations, geopolitics, mysticism, Sufism, and even science. The author, who was then pursuing Physics Honours in the Science stream, often found himself intrigued by the mystery of Zamir’s personality. He tries to understand this remarkable individual through the concepts of physics, drawing parallels between Zamir’s vast knowledge and the vastness of the universe itself.
The long evening conversations over endless cups of tea at the university’s roadside dhabas form one of the most memorable aspects of the narrative. The author believes that the university never slept, and these dhabas became informal gathering places where dozens of young boys would remain glued to Zamir for hours, listening to him with rapt attention. No one seemed to complain about the passing hours or the length of these gatherings. Their willingness to sit for so long speaks volumes about the magnetic force and aura of Zamir’s personality. Even the simplest conversations, when spoken by Zamir, became memorable. He possessed the rare ability to make every gathering lively and happening, drawing people towards him through his knowledge, humor, stories, and natural charm. As the author unfolds the pages of this memoir, he repeatedly conveys the feeling that Zamir’s company brought comfort, his laughter dissolved anxiety, and his presence lightened the burdens of life.
One could easily become addicted to his stories, his conversations, and simply having him around as he described him as an amalgam of psychologist, counselor and motivational speaker. His friend circles were different at different times; he could be seen talking cheerfully to rickshaw pullers at one dhaba where they used to take tea at night hours, other times he could be seen discussing some important topics in Library corridors with Professors. Sometimes he was demanded at Medical College Hostel by medicos and other times he used to be in engineering department laboratories. From Arts as his own subject to these other subjects, his presence for knowledge or humor pleased all and his friendship ignored every single line that society usually draws.
The author writes, “He knew the influential, he knew the forgotten, he knew the celebrated, he knew the unnoticed. What fascinated me most was that every one of these people seemed genuinely pleased to see him. He never adjusted his personality to suit his audience. He never wore different masks. Whether he was speaking to a Professor of Political Science, a tea vendor, a cycle mechanic, a hostel waiter or a student leader, he remained unmistakably Zamir…….What mattered was that he genuinely believed in the dignity of every human being.” Through these recollections, the author brings alive not only the extraordinary personality of Zamir but also the warmth, intimacy, and joy that made their friendship such a precious part of his life.
The author narrates the story of his youth in an era when there were no mobile phones or instant messages. Connecting with family back home or getting in touch with a friend required patience and effort. One had to wait in long queues outside STD booths to make a phone call or, as a more economical option, write a handwritten letter and wait a week or even longer for a reply. The author fondly remembers the postman, whom they affectionately called Pandit Ji, as an ambassador of home.
He was the bearer of news, love, and reassurance from their families, delivering letters, money orders, and demand drafts in an era when there was no GPay, Mpay, or any such application or device to transfer money instantly. While drawing parallels with the ease and convenience of modern life, the author reflects on how the absence of mobile phones made those times warmer in many ways. People cared for one another in person rather than digitally, and they spent time together in a more genuine and meaningful manner. Sometimes, it could take hours to trace a friend or locate someone, but the effort involved in finding that person carried its own sincerity.
The concern was genuine, the search was personal, and the joy of finally meeting or connecting with someone was far more meaningful. Through these recollections, the author suggests that although modern technology has made communication faster and life more convenient, the slower pace of those days fostered a deeper sense of care, patience, and personal involvement. Relationships were nurtured through physical presence, handwritten letters, shared moments, and the effort people made for one another. It was this genuine concern and willingness to go the extra mile that strengthened relationships and cemented the bonds of friendship. In remembering those simpler times, the author evokes a sense of nostalgia for an age when communication might have been difficult, but human connections often felt warmer and more intimate.
The author narrates how everything came to a standstill upon the discovery of Zamir’s fatal disease, and how the trauma unfolded over the following months. He describes how Zamir faced the harsh reality of his condition and accepted it with an open heart, even as life gradually moved towards its inevitable end. The story reaches its poignant conclusion on a chilly morning in January 2026, leaving behind a profound sense of loss. Yet, as the author reminds us, life goes on, even when the loss of someone dear leaves an emptiness that can never truly be filled.
Through this memoir, the author has portrayed one aspect of his friend’s multifaceted personality, presenting Dr. Zamir Ahmad Bhat through the prism of friendship and revealing who he was as a friend. The narrative offers a personal and intimate account of the man the author knew, admired, and cherished, allowing readers to discover a side of Zamir that may have remained unseen in his other relationships and responsibilities. Beginning in the hostel corridors and university classrooms, the memoir also reflects the everyday lives of students at Aligarh Muslim University, particularly those living on campus in the hostels. It captures the experiences, routines, friendships, and shared moments of student life during an era when mobile phones were nonexistent and STD booths served as the primary means of communication with the outside world. Through these recollections, the author preserves the spirit of a time when friendships were nurtured through personal encounters, long conversations, and genuine human connections.
Throughout the memoir, the author also pays rich tribute to Sir Syed Ahmad Khan, the founder of Aligarh Muslim University, expressing deep admiration for his vision of educational upliftment and his enduring contribution to society. Equally significant is the author’s heartfelt acknowledgement of the friends who form an integral part of this non-fictional memoir. Their presence enriches the narrative, making it not merely the story of one friendship, but also a reflection of the relationships, memories, and shared experiences that shape our lives.
Ultimately, the memoir moves beyond the story of friendship, love, and loss to become a tribute to a remarkable individual and an unforgettable era of life where he had named the book release function as, “Celebrating Zamir”. It reminds readers that while time moves forward and people may depart, the memories they leave behind continue to live on in the hearts of those who knew and loved them. A Must read book for those who need to understand the value of true friendship.
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