When Pain Speaks Louder Than Words
Shoiab Mohmmad Bhat
“True empowerment is not limited to education or employment alone. It also means creating a society where women feel safe, respected, and valued.”
Recently, a piece of news circulated on social media about a woman who tried to set herself ablaze. Thankfully, the Almighty showed mercy, and the local police reached the spot on time and saved her life. Incidents like this shake our hearts and leave us with many questions about the state of our society.
Unfortunately, this is not a single incident in Kashmir. Looking back, we realize that such painful incidents have occurred before as well. Every time something like this happens, society reacts for a few days, people discuss it on social media, express sympathy, and then slowly move on. But the real question is: are we truly addressing the root causes behind such situations?
Today, everyone is talking about women’s empowerment. It has become a common phrase in discussions, seminars, and social campaigns. But what does women’s empowerment really mean? Is empowerment limited only to women getting jobs, higher education, or financial independence? Of course, these things are very important and should be encouraged. Education and financial independence give women confidence and the ability to stand on their own feet.
However, empowerment is much more than just employment or education. True empowerment also lies in creating a society where women feel safe, respected, and valued.
At the same time, we must also ask ourselves an important question: are we giving enough attention to how we are raising and nurturing the younger generation?
The values that children learn in their early years shape their personality for the rest of their lives. When a young boy grows up seeing his father respecting his mother, he learns how to treat his sister with care and dignity, and he understands the importance of moral values, he automatically develops a respectful attitude towards women.
Moral education plays a very important role in building a healthy society. Teaching children about respect, patience, empathy, and responsibility is as important as providing them with formal education. When these values are deeply rooted in a person’s character, incidents of disrespect, harassment, or violence become much less likely.
While speaking about empowering women and girls, it is equally important to remember that empowerment should always go hand in hand with responsibility. It is not about acting without considering consequences. Yes, our Constitution gives us many rights, and these rights are essential for a free and democratic society and with these rights come duties that every individual should remember.
Before taking any action, we should always pause and ask ourselves a simple question: Will this decision harm someone or create problems for others? If every person in society begins to think in this way, many misunderstandings and conflicts can be avoided.
Personally, this incident gave me goosebumps. It is very painful to think about the emotional state of a person who reaches a point where they feel that ending their life is the only option. Life is extremely precious, and every human being goes through difficulties at different stages of life. Sometimes the pressure of relationships, societal expectations, or personal struggles becomes overwhelming.
In such moments, support, patience, and understanding from family and society can make a huge difference.
Another aspect that many people are discussing today is the increasing number of unmarried individuals. People often ask why this trend is rising. One possible reason is the changing priorities in society.
Nowadays, when families look for a match for their sons or daughters, the first question they usually ask is about the person’s income, profession, or business. Financial stability is important, but perhaps we should ask a more important question before that: What is the character of the person?
Is he respectful towards his parents? Does he treat his mother and sister with dignity? Is he known in the community as a responsible and well-mannered person?
A few years ago, our elders had a different approach when arranging marriages. They would carefully investigate the character and behaviour of the boy or girl through relatives, neighbours, and respected members of the community. In many cases, even the Imam of the local mosque would be consulted to know about the boy’s conduct and moral values.
This process ensured that the foundation of a marriage was built on financial stability, along with trust, respect, and good character.
It is often said that pairs are made in heaven. While this belief reminds us that relationships are part of a greater plan, it also teaches us the importance of patience and understanding in human relationships.
No relationship is perfect, and disagreements can happen in any marriage or partnership. But when difficulties arise, the solution should always be to resolve them through dialogue, patience, and mutual respect, not through harming oneself or others.
Life is a precious gift from the Almighty. Every human life has value, purpose, and dignity. As a society, we must work together to create an environment where people feel supported, understood, and respected.
True empowerment, whether for women or men, is rooted in rights and opportunities, and strengthened by strong moral values, mutual respect, and compassion for one another.
If we focus on nurturing these values in our families and communities, we can hope to build a society where such heartbreaking incidents become rare, and where every individual feels safe, valued, and hopeful about the future.

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