Ufaira Fayaz

A woman, in our society, is being judged by how she dresses herself up and it has become an incurable disease which people can’t seem to get rid of. We all choose our clothing on the basis of how comfortable we are and what fits with our mood on a particular day. It gives us a sense of self confidence.

As men in our society are permitted to wear jeans, hoodies and T-shirts, or a fraying tweed jacket. A woman who looks similarly casual, or scruffy, or unkempt, risks becoming the target of a range of sexist assumptions.

The society we live in is judgemental to an inexplicable degree. You can never win from the judgemental mentality and it disturbs our mental peace.

 Of course, this has become a worldwide issue, and more than likely, in case you are a woman, you have faced the reactions of these judgements personally. Whether you have been told by your parent that you simply won't be permitted out of the house in a short dress, rebuked by a religious leader or any other educator in your society for being too evocative in your outfit choices, or informed by an extremist that your dressing is inclined to make them feel in a specific way, you know the sting of indications made about the level at which you deserve to be valued based upon how you choose to follow fashion.

What is actually pitiful and unfortunate is that while many people portray themselves as being caring or protective, they are unable to realize that, for both men and women; fashion is a form of self-expression. And as we all want to support present-day women and future generations in making wise and sensible choices on the basis of their intrinsic value as human beings, and not from a society where they are being sexually objectified, it is important to keep in mind that we are entering a new era where on a daily basis we face new social norms, and more progressive ways of thinking.

I find myself sincerely concerned with this issue from my adolescent age where I witnessed most of my relatives very much into my dressing style and the way I was comfortable in a particular attire. Some of them came up with the classic question “Log kya kahenge?” and others coercively trying to impose religion. There are many other things which are not allowed according to the religion but people do that and they do not become the matter of concern because nowadays people use religion according to their own convenience.

Others have this belief that women dress up because they want attention and their dressing thus puts them in vulnerable situations. But to this I want to ask can you give me an answer as to why a veiled woman was raped? You say that her tight fitting jegging is the reason; can you explain why an elderly woman who was wearing a simple sari was raped?

You also teach your girls to be indoors and not go out during night but tell me why girls were even raped inside their homes and that too in the very broad day light?

Fault lies within the mindset not in the clothes. Supporting rapists and putting blames on the victims won’t help. There is a need to change their mentality before telling a girl to change her dress.

I did some research work where I found that most of the girls/women (Names withheld) have experienced this sort of reaction or in some cases worse than this when they wore the dresses of their choice whether that was a dress covering their full body or just a jeans or a short dress:

• A  girl  recalls her horrible experience when she was  going for her coaching classes, an autodriver  stopped his auto infront of her and shouted “ It would have been better if you only wore lingerie” just because her sweater ended above her thighs.
• Another girl shares an incident and says, “when I was in 8th standard, I was walking home with my mom from a nearby grocery store, wearing a boat neck top and a pair of jeans, a stranger called me out from a distance, I thought he might ask for directions or something, but what he said was shocking. He told me, that my clothes were revealing and I should wear dupatta with proper Indian suits. As I am a girl, I must take care of my integrity and my family's reputation. Now also, at home I'm constantly told by my relatives, to start wearing suits with proper dupatta, and quit the western styling or any broad or deep necks (which I don't intend to wear either, but sometimes, I'm fine with it). As I'm a part of a family where my sister and I are the only girls amongst 8 boys, maybe my   relatives do not really understand the actual meaning of freedom of choice and the basic needs of a girl”.

• A school going girl, who is in her early teens loves her hair and doesn’t want it to be covered by a  hijab but she says her school rules and the society she lives in doesn’t allow her to do so. The system is imposing the religion rather than making the little ones follow it with their own will.

 

As quoted by Bryant Collins “Never judge a book by its cover, until you have read the pages that are in between the book”

Never ever should we judge a woman by her dress as there is so much more to a woman than what she wears and it’s about taking the pressure off women to be repeatedly aware of their clothes and showing that the worth of a woman is not derived from her clothes.

People in this world have distinct set of principles, styles and experiences and each one of us should have the right to express ourselves with a free will and that can also be done by dressing ourselves the way we want. Some of us do not. Surely, some of us do have a completely different approach when it comes to the clothes we wear and that is simply normal and that does not make them inferior or superior. And just like me, other girls also dress up for themselves and not for people out there. So anytime you see a girl or a woman wearing anything that you do not like or you think is not modest according to the norms of any society, just turn away and don’t look at her knowing that you may not like the way she is but she does.

Rather than making a woman’s attire your centre of concern on, just focus on what she can do in terms of her great qualities and abilities.

Author is pursuing her Masters degree in Mass Communication from AJK MCRC Jamia Millia Islamia, New Delhi