Marriage’s Modern Dilemma: Burden of Extravagant Rituals on the Less Privileged

In the realm of human development and societal evolution, the theory of 'Tabula Rasa' by John Locke has long served as a guiding principle, illustrating that the human mind is akin to a blank canvas at birth, gradually moulded by life's experiences. Experience is something which has made people develop a quality of preferring things in an easier way and the credit is to be given to technologies.

In the present era, this theory finds resonance in the remarkable influence of technology, an entity that has redefined convenience and revolutionized human behaviour. In today's world, the significance of technology is as universally recognized as the names Tom, Dick, and Harry, casting an indelible impact on all aspects of existence. They also played an important role in bringing enlightenment among this younger generation and can also be termed as the ‘Birth Giver' to the concept of ‘modernism’.

The unprecedented role that technology plays cannot be overstated. It has transcended boundaries, facilitated communication, and enabled tasks previously deemed arduous to be executed with remarkable ease. Its profound influence has not only made life more convenient but has also assumed the mantle of an enabler of enlightenment, particularly among the younger generation. It stands as the architect of modernism, the driving force behind the transformation of societies, cultures, and ways of life.

Modernism, a term that invokes a profound paradigm shift, has undeniably contributed to progress. However, it is crucial to examine its more intricate implications, especially in the context of societal norms and customs. While modernism has propelled societies forward, it has concurrently breathed life into novel rituals and traditions. Nowhere is this more evident than in the institution of marriage, an entity that has evolved alongside societal changes.

Marriage, a sacred union between two individuals, has undergone a metamorphosis in the wake of modernism. As societies embrace modern ideals, new customs and practices have emerged, creating an equilibrium teetering on the verge of imbalance. The scales that weigh opportunity have tipped, often disproportionately favoring the affluent while leaving the less privileged in a state of perpetual disadvantage. Modernism demands formation of a chain of these self-styled marital rituals, what we call as “Rasm-o'Riwaaj".

Within this complex societal framework, the marginalized struggle to secure their place. Amidst the fervor for novel marital rituals, a poignant narrative unfolds – that of the less fortunate breadwinner, ensnared in an unyielding cycle of debt, all in the pursuit of conjugal celebrations. The burden of these rituals, seemingly innocuous, can transform into a silent harbinger of destruction for families ill-equipped to bear its weight.

The sole breadwinner or the father of a very poor family, can easily fall victim of never-ending debt, leading him and his blameless family towards an ultimate destruction.

Such customs, seemingly ornamental, can inadvertently foster elitism, bolstering the distinction between the haves and have-nots. This, in essence, transforms them into insidious parasites, extracting the lifeblood of those least equipped to afford their demands. In the quest to meet societal expectations, a poor parent is compelled to navigate treacherous financial waters, sometimes resorting to desperate measures that mar their innate integrity.

The repercussions of these gratuitous practices are far-reaching, not only breeding financial woes but also perpetuating the malignant dowry system, a practice unequivocally condemned. As the battle rages on to uphold these self-styled marital rituals, it is the marginalized who invariably bear the brunt, their emotional well-being sacrificed on the altar of societal expectations.

So before adding any new ritual and custom to a marriage, people should think about that one needy person or the one who has hand-to-mouth income, who keeps on struggling every day, giving all his blood and sweat to earn for his family and feed them, despite all the harsh circumstances.

In the battle of carrying out these Rasm-o-Riwaaj(marital rituals and customs),it is the poorer section of a society that receives an emotional injury and becomes the sufferer.

Even in the realm of faith, Islam advocates a stance of modesty, in stark contrast to the opulence that often characterizes modern marital customs. The teachings of Hazrat Aisha RA echo across time, reminding us that true blessings lie in simplicity and restraint. As reported by Hazrat Aisha RA, Hazrat Mohammad SAW said, “The nikaah with the most brakh is that nikaah wherein the least expense was incurred”.

This topic is one that warrants ceaseless contemplation. As we navigate the complexities of modernity, let us remember the silent struggles of the less privileged. By challenging the status quo and eschewing unnecessary formalities, we breathe life into the very essence of society, fostering inclusion and unity. As technology and modernism continue to shape our world, let us steer their course towards a future that uplifts the downtrodden, diminishes hardships, and bestows equal participation to all, irrespective of their social standing.

By not giving any value to such unnecessary formalities, the impoverished section of a society will be helped alot to lessen its hardships, miseries and the prefix of misfortune, so that it’s belongings will get an equal participation, like those of the aristocrats, in performing the other basic duties of a victorious society.

Syed Mohsina Andrabi is a graduate from Cluster University Srinagar with a BA Honours in English literature.